Tips for a Meaningful Visit with Your Aging Loved One This Holiday Season

The holiday season is a time to reconnect with family, share traditions, and create meaningful moments together. However, visiting aging parents or loved ones can sometimes bring added stress, emotional overwhelm, and the desire to “fix” everything in their lives. This can unintentionally create tension, making the visit more challenging for everyone involved.

The good news? With just a little preparation and intentionality, you can make your visit both enjoyable and impactful. Here are three simple, effective tips to help you communicate and connect with your aging loved ones this holiday season. 

1. Slow Down and Be Present 

For many older adults, life moves at a much slower pace than we’re used to. Their daily schedules are quieter, more deliberate, and often free from the constant busyness we experience. Bringing your fast-paced, hectic energy—especially during the holidays—can unintentionally create stress for them. 

Although you may have the best intentions when offering solutions, jumping into action, or trying to be "productive," this approach can feel overwhelming or intrusive to an older adult. Instead, we recommend: 

• See something, but don’t say something. Observe without immediately jumping in with advice or solutions. 

• Be present. Take a moment to pause, breathe, and focus on simply enjoying your loved one’s company. 
• Hold back unless asked. Offer guidance only if they specifically request it, as this helps them feel respected and less overwhelmed 

2. Listen More, Talk Less 

It’s natural to want to fill the silence when we’re nervous, concerned, or unsure of what to say. But over-talking can make your loved one feel stressed and unheard. In contrast, actively listening to them creates a safe space for meaningful connection. 

When you feel the urge to talk, try this instead: 

• Ask clarifying, open-ended questions like: 

• “What I hear you saying is this—am I understanding correctly?” 

• “How does that make you feel?” 

• “What would you like to focus on if this issue weren’t taking up so much energy?” 

• Empower them to explore solutions by asking: 

• “Would you like my help with this?” 

• “Who do you think would be the best person to assist you in this situation?” 

By letting them take the lead, you honor their autonomy and create a collaborative environment where solutions feel less forced and more empowering. 

3. Take a Breath (or a Break!) 

The holidays can be emotionally charged, and visiting aging loved ones can add another layer of stress. If you feel overwhelmed, anxious, or unsure how to proceed, pause and take a moment for yourself. 

Here’s how you can reset: 

• Step away briefly. A short walk, deep breaths, or quiet reflection can help calm your nerves and provide clarity. 

• Do something enjoyable together. Ask your loved one, “What’s one thing you’d love to do while I’m here?” Whether it’s baking a favorite recipe, going through photo albums, or watching a classic holiday movie, these activities can bring joy and shift the conversation. 

• Plan ahead. Before your visit, ask your loved ones about any specific activities they’d like to do together. This gives them something to look forward to and ensures a more meaningful experience. 

For couples, carve out one-on-one time with each individual. Caregiver spouses, in particular, may find it challenging to express their thoughts or feelings freely in a group setting. A quiet, private moment with them can provide an opportunity for open and honest conversation. 

The Gift of Connection 

By slowing down, listening with intention, and staying calm, you create a visit that is not only meaningful but also enriching for everyone involved. Your loved one will feel heard, respected, and cared for—and you’ll leave with cherished memories and a stronger bond. 

As you prepare for the holidays, remember: the best gift you can give your aging loved ones is your presence and understanding. 

Feel like you need additional guidance or individualized support?

Our team of Certified Senior Advisors® and Certified Dementia Practitioners® has successfully assisted hundreds of families. We offer a single point of contact for all services you or your loved one might need when transitioning from longtime homes. We ensure a stress-free move that allows you to focus on the transition rather than the logistics.

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